I could have mohawked her pubes.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
