Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
