On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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