I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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