Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
