I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
