the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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