Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
As shirtless as possible
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
