I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
