He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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