Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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