"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
