I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
