You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
where does the pee come out of this thing
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
