Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
