The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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