He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
