he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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