On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
