The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
it's great music for shaving your balls
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
