Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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