I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
