She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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