i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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