You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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