Just fell off a train. Bad.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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