If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
