She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Randomize
