i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
