how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
