I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize