I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
