So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
