Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
A bitchslap is in order.
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