Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
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