someone get that fucking seahorse.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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