Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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