Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize