Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
