About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize