can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
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