ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
