so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize