You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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