he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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