Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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