No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
