The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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