I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
