I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
