Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
