There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Just pee around me
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
