You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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