Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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