Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
