Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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