Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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