Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
