What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
