i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
