Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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