So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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