A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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